INTRODUCTION

This week’s message looks at Ephesians 4:25-32. God is interested in relationships. He is in the business of restoring relationships. He desires all to be in relationship – first with Him; then with one another.

His plan is for the church – those in Christ – to show the way by putting off the old self and putting on the new self. The key lies in the renewal of the mind (Ephesians 4:23). Only in Christ and by His power can we experience the relationships God wants us to have. This passage reveals four areas in which relationships can flourish in the Body of Christ:

1. Speak Truth: Mean What You Say (Ephesians 4:25)
2. Deal with Anger rightly: Quietly & Quickly (Ephesians 4:26-27)
3. Do Your Part: Contribute & Share (Ephesians 4:28)
4. Speak Life: Build up (Ephesians 4:29)

In his final exhortation, Paul calls us not to grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). This refers to Isaiah 63:9-10, where Israel’s rebellion in the wilderness grieved, provoked and angered God, resulting in their missing the entering of the promised land. 1 Corinthians 10:11-12 cautions us to consider this warning carefully and not take the Holy Spirit’s seal for granted.

DISCUSSION

This week’s scripture focuses on practical steps to flourish in the Body of Christ. 

1. Consider the last time you weren’t truthful to someone else in the group. This may include: ‘white lies’ that you tell other people to avoid a conflict or platitudes that you say out of habit but no longer carry the meaning it should. Or that we did not do something we said we would do. Share with your group: 
   
   a. What was the motivation behind the lie?

   b. What could you have done differently?

2. Consider the last time you became angry at someone else in the group. This may include something that was said that rubbed you the wrong way or when you felt like your opinion was not heard or you were not respected. Share with your group:

   a. How did you respond to your anger? Has the incident influenced how you treat or think about the person who was the target of your anger?

   b. Reflect on whether there is anything you need to seek forgiveness for. First from the Lord and second from anyone you have wronged. Or is there any forgiveness you need to extend?

3. Read Ephesians 4:28 and 2 Thessalonians 3:10. As you think about your life in the Body of Christ, how would you characterise your willingness to do your part for the community, to contribute and share? In what areas are you reluctant to contribute and why?
4. Read Ephesians 4:29 and Proverbs 18:21. Share with the group someone you think is great at “speaking life” – building others up with their words. How have you experienced someone speaking the truth and speaking the truth in love?
5. The exercises above might reveal more about our sinful nature than we care to admit.

   “The gospel says you are simultaneously more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe, yet more loved and accepted than you ever dared hope.” – Timothy Keller

   a. Examining ourselves is only a benchmark for how we are doing. It is often said that the only question you need to ask any Christian to see how they are doing spiritually is, “How is your quiet time?” Share with your group how your time with God has been recently.

   b. Read Ephesians 4:23 & 4:30-32. What does spending time with God do with getting rid of lying, bitterness, or ill-intention?

WHAT WILL YOU DO

For people who have been hurt: Will you release your hurt and extend forgiveness to those who have hurt you just as God forgave us? For people who have caused hurt: Will you humble yourself and reconcile quickly?

For people who do not yet believe in Christ: Will you believe in Jesus that you can have your sins washed away and reconcile with your maker?

MEMORY VERSE

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32

AN E1R1 NOTE

With our new selves in Christ, our relationships with each other should be transformed accordingly, not only within the church but also in the world.

LET US PRAY